'S' On Our Chests

this is still alive lol.. oh well uhm, wow huge gap since last time i’ve been in here. I havent read any of the posts as well since.. yeah. Damn.

Wow. like. whoa. what the hell did i miss this entire month? a shitload apparently. here ithought that he was just a dickless jerk but it turns out that i had hurt him. And i cant believe i didnt see this coming. I thought he’d be okay. i guess i was wrong. I doubt anyone would read this anyway, might as well go on. ha. thankyou tumblr venting~

well actually, just thought about it, today’s officially been a month since the thunderbolt. as well as our 3month. i cant believe i still remember all of this. I read all our posts and it just made me smile how much he cared. i ran to my room and took out his box and reminiced about everything. the letters. the journal. his shirts. the drawings. the gifts and the memories. everything was hidden in there. I didnt feel any pain until i realised how much i’ve lost.

Last night we were on the phone after awkwardly seeing each other again in who knows how long and it just felt like everything was gone. I remember back when we would stay up all night and just talk about random shit and he would make me laugh so hard i had to keep myself quiet from waking up my parents. I felt sadness over the phone. i felt hurt hearing him seem so weak.

Idk, i could be wrong. its just this different vibe. Normally he’s all happy and hyper but its like hes forcing himself to be someone hes not. Or rather just say things he dosent mean.

Another thing that bothered me is when he started talking about our past.. i still cant believe he remembers since the first day we met.

oh wait wait. ate’s here brb.

Okay back. where was i? oh yes . Well yeah.. i didnt remember any of it until he reminded me. Sometimes i wonder if i could go back in time and just forgive you. I’d rather forgive you and risk getting hurt again then whats going down now.

I’m regretting everything now. not stepping up and taking that chance we had. being happy about the dumbest things. missing how everything used to be.

Its all gone. and i guess its time to move on, i just cant bring myself to actually doing so.

i dont think i want to anyway. i guess ill try and talk it out somehow.

need to say,

supergirl misses you.

Well for some reason i love this weather ..makes me think about the awsome days with Supergirl (:..yah were kinda not together but WHO CARES lol..hahah shes soo jokes men like this girl has the greatest sense of humour yknow :D.. i really enjoy being with her, i never felt lonely when shes there, she always try to understand me and shes NEVER BORING :) hahha..yahh i know shes awsome eh ? :D 

i still remember that time we chilled for the very first time haahah..i was kinda shy talking her cuz yknow shes cute ;) haha…well i remember when i came out from the bathroom and she was there staring at me and laughing LOL WTF xD like wats her problem hahahha … after that day we’v been tryin to see each other every week (:

yess i doo miss her like crazy )’:..but ill see her 2morrow YEUUU YEUU :)